I wear shirts that say things like: “Support original theare: Dial S for Stripper.” Or, “phx fringe festival: go fringe yourself.” My dentist didn’t even know what to do with that shirt. It’s like when people found out that I smoke(d): “You smoke??!!” I seem to have this whole girl-next-door thing going on, and I’m just so, well, not. I don't fit into a category. Most of us, most of the women I know, are not one anything. I think we aspire to be more...and less...than is expected of us.
My friend Sterling and I were discussing one of his plays a few weeks ago. First you have to know that Sterling is brilliant, generous and hilarious. He is a good friend of mine. In our exchange, he commented that his experience has shown him that young women are possibly becoming the men that they were taught not to be. (Alright, everyone, take it easy… J) He was disturbed by this observation and open to my comments. Below is my response (in part) to his suggestion. I addressed him, and his cohort, directly. Tell me what you think:
You all are Gen X and as such the women in your generation totally got the shaft in terms of finding mentors and roll models. Agreed. I am the very last year of the Boomers. I worked in Corporate America – specifically in public accounting – for more than 10 years. The women who managed to scratch their way to the glass ceiling did so by using all of the women around them as ladders.
When my peers left Corporate America – and we did in droves in the mid-90’s – we justified our departure by having children. My kids were born in ’96 and ’97. And the fascinating thing about this “career” change was the birth of the Mommy Wars. More of the same competitiveness, and again, we had no roll models. And yes, pre-feminist male roles are the obvious fall back. Sadly.
However, women in their 20’s are being lazy. They do have a generation of women to look to – namely my peers. We may be making a mess of our own lives in the process, but we are positing alternatives for the next tribe. To that end, 20-somethings whining that they can only be pimps or sluts is bullshit. J Get a grip. (…)
And for the record, nobody can ever figure me out. I’m a designer purse whore, jewelry snob, and if I could afford it, I’d get a pedicure every week. I’m also devoted to all things Converse and denim, and I have no friggin idea what’s in style nor do I care. I have three pairs of cowboy boots and 3” platform sandals. I talk to my kids about everything from group-think to bigotry to date rape and the very real possibility of being prosecuted as a sex offender for sexting. My kids can use every cuss word properly in a sentence. Other mothers generally don’t like me. I don’t mind; I kind of like it. J
If those young women have to fall back on stereotypes at the close of this decade, then I have one thing to say - stay out of the next generation’s way. My daughter and her friends know who they are, where they want to go and who they want to become. They are ready to kick some ass. J
